I call a Violation

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. What comes to mind when you hear this term? I want to encourage you to take a moment and to reflect on this for a minute. Do you think of someone that you know? Do you think of a movie/song? Do you think of your own connection to the term? This may be a trigger for you, so take a break if you need to and then come back. I did not ask for you to reflect, with hopes to bring up thoughts and feelings that you may have buried deep within you a while ago. However, I do want for us all to be able to be honest with ourselves, concerning DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. Our feelings are ours to have and those feelings deserve to be validated and respected. If you are like me, you know all too well about this demon that comes ONLY to KILL, STEAL and to DESTROY! If you are like me, you know all too well about the ANXIETY, PTSD, FLASHBACKS and everything else that this demon brings with it. But, if you are also, like me…………….. YOU HAVE REFUSED THE OPPORTUNITY TO BE A VICTIM TO THE ENEMY AND HIS TACTICS.

“Their enemies oppressed them and subjected them to their power.” Psalms‬ ‭106‬:‭42‬ ‭NIV‬‬

My first encounter with violence reaches way back to junior high school. Sounds insane right? Actually, such situations are more common than we care to know. See, back then, we thought it was cute when a boy was overly aggressive or jealous. SMH……….. naw Sis, that ate even cute. As adults, we know this now! If only we could go back and put our younger selves in check, right? WE CAN’T. However, we can put our older, present self in check. My mentality stemmed from being raised in a middle-class home, full of love………… and HATE. See, I used to have a mentality that convinced me that if I fought back, stood my ground, that it was all good. I thought that I was doing something better than the woman I witnessed NOT to fighting back. I thought that I had beat the system. I LOST. Do you know when I finally realized that I lost? When my oldest child told her father at 3 years of age, that she was going to call the police. GAME OVER. So, I thought.

Five years later, I was face-to-face with one of the greatest attacks that the enemy ever sent my way. See, scripture tells us that the enemy comes as an angel of light (2 Corinth 11:14). If you know, then you know………….NARCISSIST. My spirit did not immediately connect, but that’s where SOUL TIES jumps right on in and takes over. To sum it all up, though the physical attacks were minimal ( 2 choking incidents), I lived in psychological turmoil for years and only those who knew…….knew. The photos and the public persona told a different story. The abuse continued into POST-SEPARATION ABUSE, like, for so many other women. This is a watered-down version of MY STORY; it goes way deeper, unfortunately. WHAT’S YOUR STORY?

“Bitterly she weeps at night, tears are on her cheeks. Among all her lovers there is no one to comfort her. All her friends have betrayed her; they have become her enemies.” Lamentations‬ ‭1‬:‭2‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Sis, if you have endured such abuse, or are currently enduring such abuse, I want to encourage you to HEAL. I won’t tell you to immediately leave the relationship because it’s not always safe to do so, but I do want to encourage those that are currently in an abusive relationship, to find a DV shelter in your area, to execute a safe plan of action, especially, if you have children. Whether you are married or not, God does not want any of His daughters to be abused. EVER. YOU ARE GOD’S DAUGHTER, and you deserve to love and to be loved according to His Word. I was not given the best advice by those that were “spiritually “inclined to give it. Sis, let the Holy Spirit counsel you. This does not mean that you should not seek counsel from man but LET THE HOLY SPIRIT LEAD YOU. Healing is yours if you want it. YOU WERE CREATED FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS!

“The Lord gave them rest on every side, just as he had sworn to their ancestors. Not one of their enemies withstood them; the Lord gave all their enemies into their hands.” Joshua‬ ‭21‬:‭44‬ ‭NIV‬‬